I Want | Writerly Wreckage #1

My name is Blaise and I refuse to call myself a failure.

Even though I sometimes seriously feel like one.

Especially in the writing game.

I Want - Writerly Wreckage #1

For me, the point of a writing blog is to connect with other writers. In order for those connections to be healthy, I think it is utterly vital for the writer to be honest about vulnerabilities as much as successes. I don’t mean the false modesty of “oh I tried this silly thing and it ended up working out how weird am I” or the “I’m the only writer who does this thing woe is me.” I mean sharing some of the sweat and the tears and the blood.

And I feel harsh even writing it.

Being vulnerable is scary.

So let me start.

I’ve been writing for 15 years at least, and I have never finished a first draft of a novel. I’ve begun so many—some get to 10 thousand words, some get to a page, but they all have ended up abandoned. Many are still on my computer, though I’ve narrowed them down over the years to the ones that I think may have potential for revisiting. I currently have 9 major ones. Most of them don’t have proper plots. Many require heavy character development and worldbuilding. A couple are embarrassingly derivative. I would not say I have a plethora of ideas – I have a plethora of false starts.

All I want is to finish something.

The End

All I want is to have a finished draft – characters that make people swoon, cry, laugh – writing that inspires someone out there – stories that keep people on the edge of their seats – a world that feels real – feedback and editing and “THE END.”

All I want is so much, and merely wanting it is, unfortunately, not enough. Willpower isn’t enough when depression, anxiety, a full-time job, a social life for the sake of mental health, and a mass of other things get in the way. It isn’t enough to form a routine, to have the perfect plan, when it feels impossible to stick to it.

Really, I just want something to work out. I want to figure out how to make this happen.

I want.

But how do I do?

I don’t know—and you know what? That has to be okay for now. This is Blaise, vulnerable and searching for a solution, signing off.

Happy writing,

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3 thoughts on “I Want | Writerly Wreckage #1

  1. I relate to this post SO MUCH. I keep starting new novels, rewriting them and just going through that cycle, never actually finishing them :/ It really gets to me a lot, so thank you for this post ❤ Let's hope we'll be both be able to finish something soon 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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